About the Book
Helen wasn’t just born the devious vixen of New Day Temple of Faith. There has to be something rooted deep within her to make her feed off of the pain she inflicts on other people. Perhaps it is her own pain that she has suppressed for so many years. It’s an unimaginable pain that creates an internal prison in which her mind is the only captive.
Whatever the cause, once the demons within her break free, those around her better beware. Helen feels no shame about the fact that she hasn’t been saved. Will the divas of New Day Temple of Faith think Helen is worth saving? More importantly, can God save Helen from not only her evil past, but from herself?
What drew you to tackle the questions or topics in I Ain't Me No More? When I started this book five years ago, at the time, I was so displeased with who I was. The problem was, I didn't want to admit who I was, which was an angry, hurt and bitter person who had internalized and held onto those things, circumstances and situations that had made me that way. Doing so gave me an excuse to be mad. If I held onto what so and so did to me umpteen years ago, it justified the way I could treat so and so today. You can't quit it if you can't admit it. So I had to take a for real-for real look at myself in the mirror, tell that reflection staring back at me just what I thought about her, and once I turned away from that mirror, make a conscious decision to leave her behind. I declared that I would do everything in my power to not be that person anymore...because she was disgusting and I hated her. If you go through life hating who you are, displaying love to others (heck, even like for that matter) is next to impossible. I had dealt with so much hurt and pain in my life that it ultimately became my normal. So if you wanted to fit into my normal world, you had to bring the hurt, bring the pain. When I got into church and got saved, I thought I was fixed. I was still broken though. It takes more work than just showing up at church every week and running down to the altar for someone to touch and agree with you or lay hands on you to get fixed. The main character in I Ain't Me No More, Helen, is mad, bitter and angry at the hand she was dealt in life. Her problem; does she want to be fixed or is she so comfortable with pain that she wouldn't know how to live without it? Plain and simple: Helen is not that likeable. As a matter of fact, the last book I wrote, The Sunday Only Christian, the main character in that one wasn't so likeable either. So as God kept giving me these unlikable people as main characters, I got scared. As an author there was a fear that if readers didn't like my main character, then they wouldn't like my book. So during prayer I expressed to God my concerns. His reply: "This book is not for people to like the main character. This book is for people like the main character."
An Interview with E.N.Joy
How does your book relate to your present situation, education, spiritual practice or other life path? I can honestly say that the main character, Helen's, story, is about 60% of who I was. As I look back on the life of Helen, I catch myself cringing, but then rejoicing at the same time. Because like Helen, in my present situation I might not be where I want to be in life and my walk with Christ, but I sure ain't where I used to be! If Jesus had not saved me from my own self, I fear what damage I could have done to those around me. In past years I was a prime example of how hurt people hurt people. I was mad at the world when all the while the only person I should’ve been mad at was myself-for wasting time on being mad. My misery fed off company. So if you came around me and you weren't already miserable-give me an hour tops and you'd be right there in the valley with me. I can confess this now because-you guessed it-I Ain't Me No More. Not only that, but because now I don't have a choice-it's all out there in this book...no stone unturned. Because the book mirrored my life so much (another Hence: the mirror on the cover;-) one might think it was easy to write this book. After all, it was my story. It should have flowed easily. That was not the case. I started writing this book five years ago. It was very difficult because my flesh kept rearing its ugly head. My flesh wanted to get out all of its hurt, pain, guilt, shame and 'woe is me' crap; you know, a three hundred page pity party that would hopefully make people feel sorry for me (ooops, I mean feel sorry for Helen). All the while God was trying to pull out a testimony, not garner sympathy. The flesh versus spiritual battle was very draining, but in the end I know beyond a doubt that what was achieved was a valid, entertaining, heart wrenching, moving and real story that will become a Divas classic.
What drew you to tackle the questions or topics in I Ain't Me No More? When I started this book five years ago, at the time, I was so displeased with who I was. The problem was, I didn't want to admit who I was, which was an angry, hurt and bitter person who had internalized and held onto those things, circumstances and situations that had made me that way. Doing so gave me an excuse to be mad. If I held onto what so and so did to me umpteen years ago, it justified the way I could treat so and so today. You can't quit it if you can't admit it. So I had to take a for real-for real look at myself in the mirror, tell that reflection staring back at me just what I thought about her, and once I turned away from that mirror, make a conscious decision to leave her behind. I declared that I would do everything in my power to not be that person anymore...because she was disgusting and I hated her. If you go through life hating who you are, displaying love to others (heck, even like for that matter) is next to impossible. I had dealt with so much hurt and pain in my life that it ultimately became my normal. So if you wanted to fit into my normal world, you had to bring the hurt, bring the pain. When I got into church and got saved, I thought I was fixed. I was still broken though. It takes more work than just showing up at church every week and running down to the altar for someone to touch and agree with you or lay hands on you to get fixed. The main character in I Ain't Me No More, Helen, is mad, bitter and angry at the hand she was dealt in life. Her problem; does she want to be fixed or is she so comfortable with pain that she wouldn't know how to live without it? Plain and simple: Helen is not that likeable. As a matter of fact, the last book I wrote, The Sunday Only Christian, the main character in that one wasn't so likeable either. So as God kept giving me these unlikable people as main characters, I got scared. As an author there was a fear that if readers didn't like my main character, then they wouldn't like my book. So during prayer I expressed to God my concerns. His reply: "This book is not for people to like the main character. This book is for people like the main character."
About the Author
BLESSEDselling Author E. N. Joy is the writer behind the “New Day Divas,” “Still Divas” and "Always Divas" series, which have been coined the “Soap Operas In Print.” Formerly an Essence Magazine Bestselling secular author writing under the names Joylynn M. Jossel and JOY, when she decided to fully dedicate her life to Christ, that meant she had to fully dedicate her work as well. She made a conscience decision that whatever she penned from that point on had to glorify God and His kingdom. You can visit E. N. Joy atwww.enjoywrites.com, on Facebook under Author E N Joy, on Twitter under enjoywrites and on Instagram as BLESSEDselling_Author_enjoy.
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2 comments:
Really enjoyed the interview, can`t wait!!
Great! Thanks for stopping by, Minolta.
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